February is a bit of a dreary month in my opinion. It's short and sandwiched between the dead of winter and the hope of spring. As the realities of the new year start to set in and the seasonal depression ebbs at the corners of my mind, I sit at my desk completely overwhelmed and unmotivated.
Although my word for last year was resilience, I learned a lot about gratitude. It started last February. I finally got around to watching the critically acclaimed Everything Everywhere All at Once, and oh boy, did I cry. Our lives are overwhelming with hopes, dreams, failures, and fears. If we multiply that by 7 billion we can come close to encompassing the entirety of the human experience. But then what of the animals? The ocean tides and the trembling tectonic plates that shift underneath us? What of the billions of other worlds that exist in our universe?
It is easy to feel small, insignificant, and that the most important things in my life are ultimately meaningless.
The day after Valentine’s Day may seem like a strange day to talk about a movie where the main character is faced with divorce, but I think that it makes a strong argument in favor of love.
The main character, Evelyn, is served divorce papers from her husband, Waymond. Yet, Waymond continually expresses kindness and optimism as a strategy to fight against life’s overwhelm and existentialism. When the tax auditor comes to seize their failing laundromat, Waymond appeals to the auditor’s empathy, fully explaining the difficulty of Evelyn’s situation. They’re granted a second chance.
This is the defining moment. It’s not being hardened or apathetic that makes the world go around. It’s not cold calculation that makes life worth living. It’s learning to appreciate the little things that we use to overcome our challenges. It’s the ability to empathize and relate to a person’s situation. It’s the recognition that the presence of someone in our life may just be better than their absence.
Evelyn says “there’s always something to love.”
That line stuck with me until I rewatched the movie again last week. When I first heard it, I pulled out a sticky note and left a question for myself on my bathroom mirror. Every day I ask myself, “What do you love today?”
So often the answer is things like the sunshine, a good meal, a text from a friend. They are things I always took for granted, but despite the struggles and uncertainty, I more frequently find myself enjoying the present moment. I have become increasingly more grateful that things exist at the same time as me on this Earth—a show, a game, a book, a person, an opportunity. No matter how small, I have learned to love unabashedly. My love cannot be diluted because there is no end to how much I can give.
My exploration of resilience has emboldened me in ways I never would have expected. I am gentler, more grateful, and more loving, despite the crushing weight of the universe—or perhaps because of it.
What do you love today?
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